[deep breath]

Camp is over.

It got pretty stressful towards the end (as seen in the lack of blog entries), but

I survived. Not that there was ever any question as to whether I would survive or not. I have noticed that I tend to think that my problems are quite difficult (living in a 20'x20' cabin with four eight-, ten-, or eleven-year-old girls for anywhere from 2-5 weeks), but REALLY they aren't. Once everything is put into perspective, my "problems" are pretty tiny.

So, one of my favorite aspects of this summer was actually the stressful nature of it: I got stressed with no way out, therefore I had to really examine myself and ask, "Why are you so angry? Why has this job got you so upset? What can you do to make yourself feel better?" A little self-exploration never hurt anybody, right?

I've always been known as an extrovert (which actually means you get your energy from other people, not necessarily that you're talkative or outgoing). But in the past year or so I've wanted to become more introverted, to get my energy from myself and be more independent in that aspect. I wasn't quite sure how to go about doing this, but I knew that it would really benefit me, especially in some of the things I'd like to accomplish later in life (Peace Corps,

independent travel, etc.) I didn't want to be less friendly or outgoing, but just to be able to talk myself up when I'm feeling blue, or to feel even more comfortable in silence with my own thoughts.

So, while this summer job as a camp counselor didn't necessarily help me with that (there was FAR too little alone time), it certainly showed me how much work needs to be done in this department. If I want to do things away from my family and comfort zone, to help people in need and to be in other sides of the globe, I will really need to become accustomed to being with myself (check) and to encouraging myself (this is where the work needs to be done.) I'm certain that everyone has this issue, but I tend to be so great at encouraging other people and noticing their gifts---but my own? Another story.

All in all, the job was rough but the experience was well worth it. I've almost filled up my first journal (I've been writing for years, but never stuck with it enough to fill up a whole book... until now!), I met some great friends who I think I will really keep in touch with, and--my favorite part--I learned a lot about myself. Seeing all these wealthy children being spoiled and clueless sparked a conversation with my mom about what I was like as a child, since I can't seem to remember. It also gave me some information that will be extremely useful in a few years: what qualities do I want to pass on to my children? What lessons should I reinforce daily? The answers I can provide because of this job are respect and manners manners MANNERS! As well as chores. No 10-year-old should be clueless about how to make his or her bed. Really??

Today I will leave you with two photos of me at the Balsam Mountain Trust Preserve Nature Center outside of Sylva, NC (aka my new favorite place and my dream job):

Holding Cornelius, the [gorgeous] corn snake.

The largest pieces of mica (my namesake) I have ever seen.